i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
