Pappa wants mamma naked
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
