i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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