who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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