You were right. It hurts to walk today.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
