: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
