All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
