how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
