Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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