He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
