I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
