shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
wow bdsm is so cute
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
