So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
