windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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