I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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