I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
