She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
