And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
