Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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