i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
