fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
