You can't motorboat a personality
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
