We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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