Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize