There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
