nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
