Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Rumble strips road head = magical
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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