we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
