i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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