He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Randomize