Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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