you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
