i will never coherently bang her
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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