Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize