I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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