Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
