What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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