Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
