there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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