My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I think i peed on brittanys purse
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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