the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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