there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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