things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize