I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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