I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
should my penis look like a turkey
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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