He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
