i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
