Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
