even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
