Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
