I wish they made helmets for livers.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Randomize