I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
