Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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