flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
