I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
